MENUPLEASE: IN WHICH FEMME DE JOIE APOLOGIZES TO GENTLE READER

A recent update of this sadly-neglected blog brought a rebuke from an anonymous reader in the thriving metropolis of Hayfork, California. Their response to the review of Sailing Boat:

Subject: edit out the crudities
I don't like to see women writing like this. The "big girl panties" "thongs and stiletos" detract from the review.



It was then that Femme de Joie realized the tawdry shape she has allowed herself to slip into. Yes, all those influences – wireless radio, television, moving pictures, the automobile – have made her a wreck of her former self, but she cannot blame those alone. It was she herself who was tempted and gave in to the notion of using uncouth language, as well as referencing clothing of a personal nature. So here in this public forum, she would like to extend her heartfelt apologies to the offended party:

Gentle Reader:

As one woman to another, please accept Femme de Joie’s apologies. She realizes now she overstepped her bounds by being a woman, writing, and using provocative terms. Her downfall began when the bustle went out of style and ankles started flashing, and then next thing you knew, “ladies” (ladies! HA! tramps is more like it) started talking IN PUBLIC about undergarments and shoes. After that World War I started, and then came birth control and Elvis Presley, and then all bets were off and the barn door left wide open. Before good moral women like yourself knew what had hit them, ladies went to Frederick’s of Hollywood for crotchless panties and bras with nipple holes, as well as mechanical "tension reliever" devices.

Oh my goodness, Femme is getting so overheated talking about all this. She must go lie down with a nice gin and tonic. (Between us ladies, please be cautious of the dangerous nature of the gin and tonic. Panties drop and before you know it you'll be voting and owning property. It can be very disgraceful.)

Thank you so very much for taking an interest because ladies need to look out for each other and whip us back into line when we stray. And Femme vows to be careful not to offend those who think "Big Girl Panties" and "thongs and stilettos" are naughty and thus secretly exciting.

With all sincerity,
Femme de Joie

And please, take a moment to read the Ladies Against Women Mani Ladyfesto:

We Truly Tasteful Ladies Do Hereby Demand:

Repeal the Ladies' vote. It is suffering and not suffrage that keeps us up on our pedestals. And if God hadn't wanted us up on pedestals, He wouldn't have make us shorter than our husbands.

Abolish the environment. It takes up too much space, and is almost impossible to keep clean.

Free Ladies from wage slavery. The 60-odd cents we earn for every manly dollar is entirely too much. It is unladylike to accept money for work.

Maintain illiteracy as a high school graduation requirement. An uninformed populace is an obedient populace, and a self-censoring one, too. After all, ignorance is a virtue: what you can't read, can't hurt you.

Insist on universal free childcare. No one should be paid to do what a real Lady does in her home for free.

Weed out uppity women through the establishment of HULA Committee: the House Committee on Un-Ladylike Activities.

Procreation, not recreation. Where did so many gals get the idea that s_x is supposed to be f_n? It's time to close your eyes and do your duty!

Menuplease: Dave’s Bread, TJ’s Cinnamon Rolls, & Village Deli

A few months ago Femme de Joie was searching the shelves at Winco for a decent loaf of whole-wheat sandwich bread without high-fructose corn syrup, when she chanced upon Dave's Killer Blues Bread. Attracted by the catchy graphics and healthy ingredients, she bought a loaf on impulse. After Amico del Signore had a taste, he went back to Winco for more. A clerk told him that it had been sent to the Redding store by accident but that they were getting customer requests for more. Apparently customer demand paid off, because three kinds of Dave's Bread is now available regularly. Good Seed, 21 Grain, and Killer Blues are all hearty, substantial loaves with nutty taste and firm texture. We love them.



For those who enjoy an improbable success story, check out Dave's methhead-to-baker life at http://www.daveskillerbread.com/ or follow him on Facebook.

For those who like a sweeter bread product, M. de Joie recommends Trader Joe's Jumbo Cinnamon Rolls.





These come in one of those refrigerated cans you whack against the kitchen counter. We like them because the dough is crunchy on the outside, tender inside, and much less sweet than doughnut-shop cinnamon rolls - you add the icing to taste. They make a great treat on a weekend morning. $3.99 for a 17.5-ounce can (contains 5 rolls).

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M. de Joie is sorry to see Pio Loco close, especially after the recent huge turnaround in the quality of food and service. She fervently hopes someone will snap up that beautiful space and open up another restaurant.EDIT: Chef Jeff is working on opening a new restaurant in the space vacated by Fiesta Azteca on Park Marina Drive. Good luck to him.

The closing leaves a liquor license for sale, reportedly at $50,000.

In happier news, The Village Delicatessen has opened in downtown Redding at 1300 Market Street, across from the Old City Hall Arts Center. They are open Monday-Friday from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. and on Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Menu is available on their Facebook page.

Menuplease: New China Serves Fine Cuisine

Strip malls are not usually the first place you look when choosing a restaurant. There's just something about those impersonal, interchangeable squares of real estate with high-gloss walls, big glass storefronts and acres of asphalt just a few steps from your table that scream Styrofoam taste at high prices! But in a city with strip mall space that goes begging, rents can be attractively low and ideal for small, family-run restaurants. Places like Pho Sai Gon, Priya, 5 Thais, and New China are turning out high-quality food at modest-to-moderate prices.

Several Asian restaurants have come and gone in the corner of Sunset Plaza (corner of Eureka Way and Buenaventura Boulevard) that now is home to New China. Some of them were quite good, but New China has developed a devoted following that ensures its continued success. At any time of day you'll see a string of customers coming in for to-go orders, as well as dine-in.



When it first opened, New China had a functional but cold tile floor and plain café tables, but has since had elegant upgrades made to the interior. Though it's a neighborhood place, it's also dressy enough to take a date. Service is prompt but not rushed.



The wonton soup ($5.50 to serve two) is by far the best in Redding. Made with a rich mixed broth (not just chicken stock), the wonton wrappers are stuffed with a snappy ginger-pork pate that is much more distinguished than the usual bland filling.



BBQ spare ribs, $6.50 as an appetizer. The ribs were not especially meaty or tender but had excellent flavor with a sticky star-anise flavored sauce.



Pan-fried noodles with chicken and vegetables, $8.95. To M. de Joie's mind, this is a much tastier alternative to the usual chow mein. Chinese noodles are fried until brown and crisp on one side, then tossed with crunchy vegetables and bites of chicken in a slightly sweet sauce. On another visit, we ordered a combination of shrimp, beef, and chicken; more than enough as a main course for two people.



Broccoli in ginger sauce, $6.75, bears no resemblance to frozen broccoli or that abomination served in school cafeterias. The spicy-hot sweet garlic sauce coats flowerets of broccoli, plus carrots, celery, mushrooms and onions. It might not make converts of broccoli-haters but does make a wonderful vegetarian main course.



Femme de Joie recalls eating some truly weird and awful versions of sweet and sour pork in now-forgotten and hopefully now-closed East Coast suburban Chinese restaurants, which included crinkle-cut frozen French fries and gherkins, along with greasy pork in a vivid red sugar sauce. It may not be authentically Chinese, but S&S pork continues to be a mainstay at Asian restaurants. New China's version ($7.50) is one of the better ones out there - the sauce is not overly sugary and the sweet is balanced with sour. There is plenty of pork in a light, crunchy batter, with a few cubes of pineapple and bits of onion and sweet red bell pepper.



One of the nice touches from New China: post-meal, beautifully presented orange halves are brought to your table - a perfect dessert after an elegant dinner.

New China is located on Redding's western edge but is worth a drive from Enterprise, even if you're going to pick up an order to take home. Highly recommended.

New China, 3669 Eureka Way at Buenaventura Boulevard in the Sunset Plaza, Redding. 530-246-9522/0788. Open Monday-Friday, 11:00 AM - 9:30 PM, Friday and Saturday, 11:00 AM-10:00 PM, Sunday 12:00 noon - 9:00 PM. Vegetarian/vegan options. Wine and beer. No checks. Cash, cards. Ample on-site parking.